before i cease to forget- let me list down the nice things we've done. i managed to walk over water-logged and faded, vague used-to-be's with you. i held your arm, resting my weight on you as we dragged our feet across moa's vast parking lot. we smiled and shared sweet nothings where he broke my heart without even apologizing. you gazed into my eyes pushing time to the back of our minds where he looked at me for the last time.
my fault was that i never gave you a fair chance. i basked in our warmth with blankets pulled up to our chins. it was hard to breathe, but comforting. when you drove, i would look at you with every sense of what was right. i felt like i could be happy without hiding anything. i felt like i loved you again. i felt like you were mine, and i was yours. i wished to be the brakes, i wished to be the steering wheel- the road, so you could look at me, concentrate on me alone.
i loved when you called me your princess, tried desperately to think that we were the only two people on earth that night in my room- with four blurred neon circles in the distance, like candles that were about to go out. i wanted that night to last, and go on forever. you already belonged to someone else.
my chest still hurts. i still wish it was you beside me now.
but, you picked her. and there is nothing else.